it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
