his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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