if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm having to shit out rocks
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
