my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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