I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize