I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
