OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
