i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I look excited, but its just a facade.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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