Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
