didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize