I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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