I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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