mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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