i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
