I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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