the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
