She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
