We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
