It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i drank out of a bidet.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
