ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
