Already got asked if we're dating
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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