Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize