I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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