I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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