i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
