She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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