I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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