Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
