Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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