all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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