didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
