To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize