Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
