I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
