And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
