i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
