if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
