i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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