i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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