just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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