There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
