Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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