just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
