so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
