You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
