Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize