just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
