In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
