im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
