I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
