I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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