they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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