you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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