You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
