She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize