who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize