Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
