If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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