TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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