addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
