she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
