I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize