I feel great
I just peed on a car
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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