I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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