I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
