conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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